Motivation, Inspiration and Enthusiasm

Hey Everyone,

So this is my first blog entry for my weight loss. I thought about getting a personal journal, and I still might, but I thought that I am already sharing my journey with you, why not my inner thoughts?

I couldn't be happier with how things are going. For the first time, I don't "think" I can do it, I "Know" I can achieve my goal. With the support everyone on youtube has given me, and the support of my husband, I feel like I am finally in control. Being in control is something I lost a long time ago, and have been seeking to find ever since. Finally, I sought in the right place. The one place I spent countless hours on, and wasted precious time I could have been using to do my homework. Youtube. I came across some channels of individuals who shared there "Before" and "after" results, and I was amazed at what I saw. Then, as I wanted to find more, I found people in the process of documenting their journey. That's when it dawned on me, that documenting myself, is my key to success. I don't want to look back on myself and see myself fail like I have so many times in the past. I want to make a DVD and show it to my family, once I hit goal weight, and I don't want them to see me fail countless times either. So, my motivation comes from the documenting process, and being able to watch my whole Journey at the end, and say "Hey, I never once gave up, and I never took a step back".

Sure, there will be those times where I will binge. Who doesn't? For this isn't a diet, it's a lifestyle. I never want to see theses pounds I am shedding ever again. So I know once I hit goal weight, I can't go back to old habits. However, in order to stay successful, motivated and enthusiastic about my journey, I know when I am craving something, I can have it. In moderation of course. If I want Pizza, I will have 2 bites of pizza, and have Matt quickly gobble up the rest before I can have any more. After it is all gone, I feel the satisfaction from eating a whole box, and I only had 2 bites. Those 2 bites will last me 2 weeks before that craving comes back. I wont deprive myself from the things I love, but I know if I want to keep losing pounds, I have to keep in mind, even one slice of pizza will set me back, but 2 bites wont, and I get the same taste and ease of mind.

Finally, I come to a point in my life were everything makes sense. I see the big picture, bigger than what I saw before. I knew I was over weight, and i knew I needed to do something about it, but I never did. Now, even though I know the same things now as I did then, everything seems so much clearer. I can't describe my feelings in words. It's a new feeling I don't remember ever feeling before. Satisfaction? Accomplishment? Both? I don't know, but it's around those lines.

The best way to describe my thoughts is, this is my new life. I wanted to start over, many times. This is it. My new life, my new leaf. I am Mrs. Brown living in South Carolina. Married to a United States Sailor and making it on her own. I feel the independence in me growing, and the dependence fading. I left my nest, and now, I build my own.

Wow... I sound so sappy. However, this is what goes on every time I think about my weight loss. Then, my motivation grows, even when it never was lost. Now, I have more motivation than I began with, and to keep going becomes easier, rather than harder.

This is some of my "inner - thoughts" that aren't said on camera. If you are interested in what I am thinking, feel free to follow me along in my blog, leave comments. Ask questions, tell me your stories. I want to hear from you! You all are making my journey happening, you have all done so much for me already in such a short amount of time, that I want to do something for you back. If you want to see me do something on camera, tell me, I might do it for you! If you are curious about anything I am doing, or about me in general, feel free to ask.

Until next time! Love you guys!