My Journey Is Like A Huge Playground!

So, it has been a while since my last update. Sorry. I have been busy. Yesterday was my 21st birthday. It was a ton of fun, and I can only remember bits a pieces of it. I do remember at 3am going and getting the biggest slice of pizza I have ever seen in my entire life and thinking "What pizza place is open this late?" lol. It was delicious! Although not entirely on plan, if I say so myself.

This week I have lost 2.5 pounds!!! I am finally going back down. Even though Sabrina won this weeks challenge, we both lost, and that is the whole point of this! I did eat pizza at 3am and weighed in at 10am, so I think it is still with me, and next weeks weigh in will be a bigger loss. I am looking at weight loss as a game now. This "Racing Our Shadows" I am doing with Sabrina is making it so much fun, and I love how many views we get!

I have come to the realization that weight loss isn't about how fast you get there. It's about changing your life forever. I want to have a healthy pregnancy, and if I am over weight, the chances are less of having a healthy baby. But, this is my life now. I am who I am, and even if I am changing I have to love who I am now. Because, if I wake up every morning hating myself, it's going to take even longer to lose the weight. Documenting myself on youtube was the best decision I have ever made, besides marrying my husband. I love to film and edit videos, and to do something I love with something I hate, makes me begin to love the thing I hate. Make sense? Losing weight is not fun. We all want to eat the deep friend trans fatty foods we have been turning to our whole life. To just stop eating it, and start eating celery and apples, it's not fun. You get cranky, and upset because your not getting that food we crave. So usually if you hate something, you are going to stop doing it, even if you know it's better in the long run. But for me, I hate eating such bland food, but if I am recording it, and playing around with the editing, and have people waiting for that video, it become fun, and I enjoy eating healthier much more. So now, my journey is like a huge playground!

Sure I still go out and have food I love, but in moderation and like once a month. Usually it is when T.O.M is in town, because my cravings are so hard to control. If I can make sure I don't strangle my husband for no reason, I reward myself with something not on plan, like pizza, or a burger. However, I only did this when I know I can get right back on that horse! Because before, I would have something, and never want to stop. It was bad!

Anyway, I am going to stop rambling.. but I love you all! Hope everyone is doing well, and take care this week!!

I Suck, And I Have No Idea What I Was Thinking

So, I just posted my OneStepCloserTv audition video. The deadline is September 30th, and I know it took me a while to put it up, but it took me that long to decide if I would be able to be commuted to the channel. I have decided I can be, and hope to be one of the people they decide to choose. Should be fun! I have wanted to do something like this for a while. No worries, I will still give updates on my channel throughout the week.

Anyway, go check out my audition video, and claim how amazing I am, and what a great addition I would be to their channel. Or, tell me I suck, and I have no idea what I was thinking, and should just give up while I am miles behind. haha. Anyway, thought I would just update you all on that, hope you are all having a great week to start off!

Oh and one more thing. On the Sexy For Santa Challenge, I won Most Inspirational for the week! I was very happy to see that. This weeks I hope to get most creative. But I have to think up some fun things to do! So I will have that posted by tomorrow, or Wednesday!

Thanks for reading! Let me know if the comments still aren't working! Love you guys! Take care!

It's Becoming a Habit, It's Becoming a Life-Style

Hey guys,

So lately things have been going very well. My body loves to fluctuate I have come to find out. With my obsessive stepping on the scale and weighing myself, I see I can fluctuate 5 pounds! However, it will hover around one spot all week, and then just drop. Of course I step on my scale 3 times to make sure this is the correct weight, and then 30 min later go to show my husband, and I am up 5 pounds. I wonder if I really do fluctuate this much, or if maybe I need a new scale. I think at 190, I will buy myself a new scale, that will do all the subtracting for me. You know, one of those fancy like ones!

I have tried diets several times before. I would start them, and then a week into it, and doing so well, I will give in and give up. Then once more i would try again and the same thing would happen. This is the longest time I have held true to a diet, and I know I will succeed this time. There is no doubt in my mind. I will go out to eat, and not think twice about how much I want the ribs and fries, and get the salad instead. It's becoming habit, it's becoming a life style. It's a great feeling.

I have been having this pain in my stomach. It feels like I need to go use the restroom, but that is not the case. It's a constant cramp. Maybe I am dehydrated, not drinking enough water. Maybe it was from the exercises that about killed me the other day. Maybe it's something I am lacking in my diet. I don't know what the cause is, but I hope it goes away, it makes me very upset. :-( I will try to up my water intake each day, and make sure I am eating enough protein, veggies and fruits in the day.

I need ideas for my theme weeks. I had a few ideas, but I kind of lost the piece of paper with the list on it. Silly me. So, if you want me to talk about something that you find fun, interesting, or need help on, or whatever, shoot me a comment or a message.

I heard that my comments haven't been working, and I am not exactly sure as to why that is. I have tried fixing it, so hope whatever I did works, if not, you can ALWAYS e-mail me at:

TheImpatientDieter@gmail.com

or

BiermanStacey@yahoo.com

Doesn't matter if you just want to say Hi, or you have a question, or a comment, or whatever. Pop in, I love e-mails. lol If you have AIM or yahoo messenger you can find me there too! e-mail me if you want my user name. I don't want a whole bunch of random people Messaging me, and trying to meet up, or something. lol.

Anyway, it is FINALLY the weekend, I am very excited. My husband isn't home yet, so it looks like he is going to put in and hour or so to get a head start on his weekend hours. I love that, so then he wont have to go in on Saturday, and we can spend the day together.

Oh! So I woke up today, and I followed my meowing cat to the kitchen. I get to the entry-way of my house, and it's wet. I was like "Max! Did you pee?! That is not like you!" And then I kept walking and it was still wet, "... There is no way this much pee came out of you" I turned on the light, and my entry way was flooded. The carpet was soaked! Splashing up at me, it was crazy. So I called maintenance, and when they finally got here... 6 hours later, they had no idea what was wrong. I had four confused maintenance guys in my house, looking at the AC unit, which appeared to be the problem. When I found the problem first thing in the morning, I did turn off the AC, thinking that may be the cause, and the Maintenance guy was proud of me! I love doing the right thing all on my own. So, it turned out it was a pipe from under the house, and it was clogged, and all the water would just overflow into the house. Crazy! So they fixed it! Now the carpet is drying. Yay!

Anyway, I have rambled about nothing for a while now, so I will let you go. Thanks for reading!!

Aren't You Just The Impatient Dieter

Lately I haven't been posting videos. It's not that I am doing poorly, or that I have lost my enthusiasm, it's because I have had the flu, and not feeling well. I thought about doing text videos, but I was so miserable, I couldn't even sit up to do that. I feel bad, but no one has complained yet. They are all probably taking a breather from not having my videos on the subscription page all the time.

I got my first "hater" lol. I was wondering when the time would come. They were saying I am copying people because I have 1200 calories a day, and update everyday. I went to their page, and they have yet to upload a single video, so it is clear to me, they have no idea what they are talking about. It just made me laugh. I feel the weight loss community is all about taking other peoples ideas, and applying it to yourself, see if it works. It's not about who has the best ideas, it's about losing weight, becoming healthier, and supporting one another in the process. This person obviously doesn't understand that. Besides, 1200 calories is the recommendation by any Dr. you see. So, it was amusing to me.

Also, I guess there is another youtube name "ImpatientDieter". I was unaware of this when I signed up. I was talking to my Dr. and he said I needed to lose weight, blah blah blah, and I told him can't it just go away over night? He mentioned a support group or something similar. I mentioned youtube, and he thought that was a good idea, if I were comfortable putting myself out there. We continued on strategies of weight loss. After a while of me whining that it was going to take too long, he said "Well, aren't you just the impatient dieter." That's when I got my idea for a youtube name. So, I apologize if it seems I was stealing the name from someone else, I had no idea. Forgive me for a coincidence.

Anyway, haters wont stop me from reaching my ultimate goal. I have support from a ton of people. More than I thought I would ever get. I have 70 subscribers, I was happy at 5! lol. So it's amazing that I have so many people rooting me on, and wanting me to succeed as badly as I do.

This weekend was hard. I was sick, like I said. When I am sick, my comfort food is french fries. Don't ask why. I just crave them like mad when I am sick, so this weekend, I was sick, and I didn't have any french fries. It was the hardest thing, and I was more crabby than I should have been, all because I didn't get my french fries. I am happy now, but I was so upset earlier. My husband is awesome for not taking me personal, and not giving in, and giving me french fries. .... I still want those french fries, but i am in the right state of mind to know better.

I still wish this weight would come off faster, but my husband was saying, it has come off faster than it has been put on. So I guess that is a good thing. In 4 weeks of youtube land, I have lost 12 pounds. I guess that is an average of 3 pounds a week. So I am doing awesome, and I will reach my goal of 125 by my one year anniversary. I wonder what my body will look like at 125. It will be so small. I am short to begin with, but I have been short and fat for a long time, that I can't even imagine what my body is going to transform into. It's really exciting actually. I look in the mirror and suck in, and cover spots that will disappear, and try to see what is under all this fat. To what I can see, it's a gorgeous little body, and I can not wait to let it shine!

Anyway, I am going to attempt to make a video and upload! Thanks for reading, please comment! I love comments! Check out my youtube channel, and I will update later!

Highest Weight: 235

Starting Weight: 221

Current Weight: 209

No longer will I be the "Fat Wife"

Alright, so today is Monday! Last night I ran to Wal-mart and I got a journal, and I am keeping track of all my calories and making sure I am getting enough in, and not starving my body. I am also writing down my exercise I did that day, how many calories I burned and even my times.

Today I went to the gym! I thought about not going, and I told myself, get going, or I will never succeed. So I got in my car, and went. (Really once I am in the car, I am fine) I ran on the elliptical for 30 min. A total of 2.5 miles, 600 calories burned, and my first mile I ran in 10 min and 16 seconds!! That is my fastest mile ever!! I was so proud of myself. After I was done running I moved to one of the bikes, and I biked for 30 min, of a total of 6.3 miles, and 200 calories burned. I had a lot of resistance on. Once i was completed with my cardio, I went and stretched, and did a few weight exercises. So it was an amazing day at the gym.

I have been following my diet plan, but I think I am going to have 2 meals a day. I figure with exercise, I will be getting hungry, and I want to stay healthy. I am very pleased with myself today, and tomorrow will be just as great. And next week, I will loose 5 pounds at least!

I had a long talk with my husband yesterday. He really opened up to me, and I am seeing just how hard he is struggling. He is in training, and it is very intense. IN 6 months he earns the equivalent of 108 college credit hours. He is stressed out, tired, becoming depressed and frustrated. He told me he wanted guy time, and I agreed. I told him if he wants guys over, I will leave. Either go to the gym, or to a friends house, or just walk around the mall. If he wants to leave and do something with the boys, that's fine too. I wont get upset. I understand. But he said something that hurt.

He told me he would love to go kayaking with me, but feels I would slow him down, and he has to be in the mood to screw around, not actually wanting to get somewhere. I understand what he is talking about. But it was like, I am too fat to keep up with him. I am not fun to hang out with because of my weight. I felt horrible about myself. I was up all night thinking about those words. He didn't mean to hurt my feelings, and I am not mad at him, he has a point, but it hurt. I was disgusted with myself. I want to do more with my husband. And my weight is stopping me from doing a lot of what he wants to do.

I am determined to loose this weight. Once I hit 170 I will be so much more active and will be able to keep up, and once I hit my total goal of 125 - 130, he will be slowing me down! I don't want to be that "Fat wife" anymore! I want to be that "hot wife". I want to make my husband proud, as well as my own benefits of being skinny and fitting into clothes, not dread going into fitting rooms. being healthy. I want to be at my goal by my one year anniversary. March 11, 2010. Then by May when it is time for my yearly Dr. visit, I will blow my Dr. away at my loss! When I see my family, I will shock them, and blow their minds. I will do this, I will lose this weight. Never see it again!!

Woo hoo! Self motivation! Thanks for reading, talk to you all later!

Small goals lead to big goals

Hey everyone,

So my Mother-in-law left today. Yay! It's not that I don't like her, that's not it at all. I love her, but sometimes she sticks her nose into places they shouldn't be. Oh well, she is gone now, no need to dwell over it.

So, I have 3 weeks to loose about 15 pounds, to get to my goal of 199.9 by my cousins wedding. That's 5 pounds a week, which is a ton! I will be going to the gym 5 days a week, followed by a liquids and one meal diet. I am determined to get back into "ONEderland" before the wedding. I set that goal, and I will reach it!

As far as other goals, my Sexy For Santa goal is 165 by December 20th. I am so determined to succeed. I do not want to fail, but I have the fear of failing. I know I can do this, but going to the gym is hard! I can do the eating part just fine, but getting up, and going to the gym is so hard, and I don't know why. It's right down the street, it is free to military members and their family, and I can't find the power to go? Even if I don't go to the gym, I could just walk around the neighborhood for exercise. I can't even find the motivation for that. It's frustrating! My goal this week is to loose 5 pounds, eat one meal (dinner) rest of the day liquids, and go to the gym Monday - Friday. I also want to film me going to the gym and working out, so if I am telling my viewers that is what they will see, it will give me more motivation to go, just to film it.

What really gets me, is once I am at the gym, I am perfectly fine with it. I am happy to work out, and get a sweat. When I get back home and I am taking a shower to get the sweat off, I feel so satisfied with myself and accomplished. I love the feeling of it, but I still find it hard to get to the gym, or outside to walk. What a frustration!

Anyway, my personal goals are:

#1 Get a journal and write everything down that I eat and track calories

#2 Go to the gym for an hour Monday - Friday

#3 Eat one meal/day and liquids the rest

#4 Make a visual aid to help my goal (Thinking about taking Sabrina's paperclip idea)

#5 Loose 5 pounds

#6 Weigh myself only once a week

I know goal number five seems like a lot, but if I want to reach my over all goal of getting to 199 by October 1st, that is what I will have to loose. So, this week I am going to rock it!

I will post more updates on how my goals go this week! Thanks for reading another one of my blogs! Love you guys!

I'm on a diet... Let me sabotage it!

Hey Everyone,

I am sure if you have been watching my videos on Youtube, you saw that having my mother-in-law in town isn't going so well. She wants to know about mine and Matt's finances, and make sure we are spending our money wisely, and all that. We are grown adults here, I think we know how to handle our own money. Sure, we aren't rich, but we don't need help either. We are just fine. It's frustrating, she doesn't need to know our finances, and she gets mad at me, because I let Matt be in charge of the money. She thinks he has enough to do. Honestly, I can't take that job away from him. Matt loves dealing with money, he should work at a bank. I understand our finances, but Matt pays the bills and balances the check book. When he gets deployed, I will take over that job, but until then, I let Matt do that, he enjoys it.

Then we have her opinion on the Navy. She hates the fact that Matt joined the Navy, and not the Air force. Now, Matt and I went to every recruiter of every branch (i.e. Marines, Army, National Guard, Cost guard, Air force and Navy) The Navy recruiters were the only ones who were honest with us, and gave Matt what he wanted out of being in the military. So anyway, of course she gives her opinions on the matter, and how hard it will be for her (not me) when he is deployed. She sees him once a year, and I live with him. She doesn't take my feelings into consideration at all.

I told her I was on a diet, and the first place she wants to go to is McDonald's. She offered to buy me something, and I turned her down politely, and she asked again. I again told her "no thank you". Maybe she felt guilty that she was the only one getting food, but I told her before hand that I was on a diet, and I don't eat fast food anymore. This is why none of my friends or family (with an exception of a few) know about my Youtube channel.

Family and friends want to do everything in their power to stop you from succeeding it seems. "I'm on a diet"

"Oh, let's go to Burger King!"

"I'm on a diet"

"... Oh. Hey, you want some brownies?!"

"..."

Or the ever so classic "You don't need to loose weight!" I know they are being nice, but it's frustrating. So instead, I have decided this time around, I am not telling my friends and family about my weight loss idea. (again with the exception of a few) This way, when they see me next, it will be a surprise, and I wont have to be offered any sweets. Cause of course, when you aren't on a diet, they make comments about everything you eat, then when you are on a diet, they want you to eat everything they would be commenting on if you weren't on a diet.

I never felt the support from my friends and family (again with the exception of a few) then i have with everyone who I have been sharing my journey with on Youtube. The comments you all share and encouragement, makes me really want to succeed. Not for just me, but for you guys as well. I know we all need to succeed for us to all meet our goals. I know I get my motivation from everyone on Youtube. Seeing you guys succeed makes me say "Hey! They did such a great job this week! I will too!"

It's strange, I feel so connected with everyone here in the Youtube Weight Loss Community, and you are all complete strangers. I can show you my full body, and know you guys wont care. Yet, I can't do that with my family. I can't even tell them I am watching my weight in fear they will try and sabotage me. So, I want to give everyone a HUGE thank you for that. Each and everyone of you who watches my videos, and actually cares if I fail or succeed, has a special place in my life. So, I told myself, when I reach goal weight, everyone who has shown support, and encouraged me to keep going throughout my journey, will get a special gift. It may not be huge, but I want to show my appreciation some how.

So, again, thank you everyone! Keep up your great work, and don't let people effect your moods. I shouldn't let my mother-in-law get to me. (At least I haven't shown her that she has gotten to me) Only i can control my mood, and outlook on everything, and I will try to stay more positive throughout the week!

Thanks again, love you all!!